As Mr. Parker likes to say, words matter. I spent my career in Big Advertising creative departments. When talking about work done for a client, I’m trained to always say, “we” and not “I” or “you.” Yes, I may have developed an idea. But without the other team members, there’s no way I would’ve gotten to the finish line. One idea leads to another, which leads to another, until it all snowballs into the win. So, “we” win. But “I” never do.
A while back, Mr. Parker and I were collaborating with Ben, our 13-year-old nephew, on an entrepreneurial effort he developed. He mentioned an idea we’d been working together. He said, “I came up with that.” We explained the use of “we” versus “I.” He understood immediately. Sometime later, his father told me he was referring to something he was doing on the project, and used the pronoun “I.” Seems his son told him, “Dad, we don’t say ‘I.’ We always say, ‘we.’” (Color us proud.)
Recently, a PBS show on couples and romance cited a study. It said that in a relationship, using the word “we” is more romantic than bringing home flowers. Now, I’ve received more than a few bouquets. So I stopped and thought about which I appreciated more. Is it the flowers, or is it the “we?” And while I loved the flowers, the “we” has lasted far longer.
Whether the relationship is personal, professional, or both, “I” and “you” can become weaponized pronouns. They cause all kinds of destruction. Am I claiming responsibility for something good happening? That means my partner is on the sidelines, forced to applaud me. But there’s a high likelihood that he played some part in that good thing. As for “you,” it often comes with the sting of blame and accusation. “We’ll, you said to do it that way. Now look at it.”
Most of our CoupleCos are well acquainted with power of “we.” It’s always evident in our interviews. Yet, it’s also worth a reminder because together, WE are stronger. Welcome to the power of first-person plural.
Hope that helps
Are Blaine & Honey Parker Relationship Experts?
Hardly. And does the world really need more of those? Instead, we are a couple who have worked together for over 20 years. We've learned a few things along the way. And now, we're traveling the nation interviewing other couples in business together. Join us for the ups, downs, ins, outs, laughs, tears (even though Honey believes Blaine has no tear ducts), and the inevitable, practical insights into being a better couple--in life, business and everything.